My Life

Sorry I haven't been posting lately, I feel like I've been drugged. My brain just hasn't been working lately, I feel so tired just to even text or play a game, anyway I  had Wednesday off and I watched the walking dead, brickleberry, ugly Americans and I played Suprem Wars (Civilization Wars £0.69) and Plants Vs Zombies 2 and Epic Duel, oh and also I don't know why but I'm bankrupt, I haven't even bought anything. My dad says he's 'borrowed' £80 but I think he's borrowed £100, because I had more than 80 in my wallet, and now there isn't anything in my wallet. Oh and on top of that my builders club is ending next month and I can't afford lifetime with only £80. And then I want to buy GoPlus which is £38 kind off. Sheesh, the internet is so expensive these days. So I'm screwed with money, I guess the only thing I have to look foward to is next week. My hair is being dyed on Wednesday, and I break off from school on Friday. Oh and if I g...

Luke was strangely fitting back into my good books. Maybe It was just me. Apart from a massive Harry Potter scratch on my forehead  my day went okay. Probably because I sit across from Luke! Well nearly across. And we had a pen war ( a war of pen throwing) not exactly romantic but it was sweet. Our eye contact was amazing, I felt like we were about to kiss, or I'd been injured on the battlefield and he'd come to save me. Aaahh Luke <3

The damage was done. I said it all. And I hadn't the slightest of regret inside me, well the only regret that was inside me was that I should have smashed her face in. But unfortunately (and fortunately) that is cruel and illegal. But next time, I will smash her face in because maybe that'll make her cry. Well, atleast I made one of them cry, and fairly she was ugly as heck! I mean aside from her natural ugly fat, face - this was hideous and to be fair fucking gold! Also I knew something about the other one, that would make her entire highschool fall apart and I really want to just spill it all out. Anyway I was actually just making it up as it came along, but as hell was it good! I couldn't stop I just wanted to say more, and from now on I promise myself that I will handle all my problems like that just blurting out how I feel about people. If they don't like it, well they shouldn't have come.

I'm not going to make this post long, since I should be in bed sleeping because I am well- Ill. But I feel really sick, and I just don't feel like going to school. It's fucking epic though, I get to miss PE, miss any drama that'll happen when I'm gone, and well just be myself and spend time thinking the time I should have spent ages ago!

I'm hear to tell you today about a little girl by the name of P. This little girl has been giving me hell so I'm going to express how I feel about her. That shit-headed blonde slut-faced fat ugly slag will never get a boyfriend - or a fucking girlfriend to be fair. Let alone her weird obsession with a fucking toilet but honestly it always has to be about her the way she talks is like that and oh my fucking hell she has this really annoying crush on her little brother, she even takes fucking videos off him - I mean how much of a peodiphille is she. Her Whinny voice always complaining and saying nothing funny, but when she wants something she fucking shouts for it, maybe it's because she's fat and is used to shouting at her parents for not making enough food for her oversized head. I wish she'd just die.

Its time time to face the fucking music. The reason why nobody likes you, is because you don't like you. You are so negative, and so false, and so manpulative to yourself. Why am I fucking doing this? I'm counciling my selfs. Because that's how sad my life is. But who made it this way? You did. If you want something go and get it.

Not only had I fallen out with my real life friends I'd fallen out with my online ones to. Plus it was over something so stupid like loosing a game. Sometimes I get angry at my self, but most of the time I get angry at others. Because more than often, it is there fault. Recently (well only today) my throat is hurting. I think I may have developed another throat infection, or I met just be sick because when I swallowed I have that disgusting sicky feeling in the back of my throat. Anyway at least there is one positive, I'll be dying my hair next week, and hanging out with L. So I guess it's not all that bad. But 99.684% of the time - it is.

Sometimes I just fucking hate girls, and I fucking hate boys too... But I hate girls more. And thats not including L, because she is just fucking amazing, but she is also limited for time. Anyway I will explain why I'm in such a shitty mood. Its because I told my school friend a really big secret, and another secret about this blonde slut-faced slag. Anyway, later on that day. Well after school, my friend (who I told the secret to) was waiting for me and she told me not to tell the blonde slut-faced slag. Then that fucking blonde slut-faced shit-spreading stupid slag started yelling at me saying 'I WANT TO KNOW WHOSE BEEN SPREADING SHIT ABOUT ME' well fuck you. Not everything is fucking about you you shit head go fucking die. I'm never going to grass on the friend that told me.

School was shit...again... Luke seemed to notice me less than before but it was okay, like when we were in English I went to get two dictionaries (one for me and my friend) and then he got up to get one and I let him passed as I was leaving and he looked down and said Thank You. I didn't reply maybe I should have but what do I say? I was put on the spot there, I would have had a chat with him if he was alone and didn't have his stupid friend next to him. Because his stupid friend keeps looking at my like I'm some fucking exotic beautiful alien, not that that is a bad thing but it kind of creeps me out, he's like popular (sort off) so it's not in his place to look at me but he does, anyway I was afraid that he might ask how Luke knows me so I just kept quiet and went passed him. Oh by the way about my hair my friends think I'm crazy for dying it red and I might get sent home but that's FUCKING amazing!!! They say that you could get excluded for it, it would m...

My Hair Dye arrived today, it's 'Crazy Colour's 'Cyclamen' and to be honest, I'm really excited about it, it looks a bit gooey but I just really want to try it out. I hope it stays in for school, so everyone will be like 'Woah, whose that?' and I might just catch Luke's attention, maybe he'll be like 'You suit that colour, let's date' Hahaha, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I hope my friend (L) doesn't see this post because when I go out shopping with her it's going to be dyed! And I want it to be a surprise!

Okay, I faked a migrane to get out of PE, it was like the fucking hardest thing to do. It was like I had to write 'MIGRANE' on my head for them to figure it out, I said that the lights seemed really bright, and that they could speak a little softer and I complained of a headache but I guess it obviously didn't work. Orginally, I wanted to get the whole day off but instead I just got PE off, and guess what they were doing in Pe ~Volleyball. (BTW: Volleyball is probably my -only- favourite sport) Well I guess they weren't doing proper volleyball since they were doing it with badminton rackets but still. Anyway my gym teacher had told me to look in the pe closet for a 'long grey rod' to pull the basketball nets back in the sports hall. Anyway I can't find anything so there was no luck for me. Anyway it turns out that neither of us could find it so we just left it there. Anyway I decided that I should just text my friend (mentioned before in the 'breathe...

I've dedicated this whole post to my one and only true love. *two fingers for Luke* Luke is a total jackass thinking about it now, I mean why did I ever fall for that guy. Oh wait I know because I'm naive and stupid. I mean, he hasn't been nasty to me but the way he acts the kind of language he uses the kind of people he hangs around with, he even truents lessons. I mean do I really want to be hanging around, let alone date, someone like that. Maybe I should just stop chasing after him, but it isn't that easy there is just some kind of attraction towards him. Urgh, why couldn't my heart just choose someone who is suitable and easy to attract. I mean I know so many guys who are interested in me (Some of them have weird ways of showing it, actually some of them are just weird all together) like I thought I was just being a slut when I thought that these guys like me, but it came to me later - I was actually right. Anyway, UP YOURS LUKE! I wish you the fucking best wit...

There was something wrong about everything, nothing was perfect, and everything irrtated you in some ways. Even my friends. Do you know what? For one post I'm not going to talk about them. Fuck Them. Anyway I had a haircut on Friday (sorry for not putting that on Friday's post) and it's totally ~ shit. I look like that old grandma (Madge, I think) of Benidorm! Its literally a short bob, with a more scruffy look then elegance. Anyway when I dye my hair red I want my hair to be long enough to carry it off. My frien- I mean some people didn't really like the idea but I did. I just fancied a change from my normal brown especially when people say it is black. ITS NOT FUCKING BLACK ITS DARK BROWN! Can people not tell the difference? Sheesh! Oh btw, on Sunday I sneakily got Left 4 Dead 2 without my Dad knowing since it was on sale for £3.49 or something like that. I felt well naughty but later when he came back from drinking he was actually fine with it. (Or maybe that was bec...

When you ready, Come on get it ~ Nanana. Sorry just got that song stuck in my head. Anyway today I did loads and LOADS of things. (To be fair, not that much) I went to my local craft shop to get some felt tips, note pads and all that jazz. (There wasn't any silk or fabric so I could design some clothes ~ or maybe a flapper dress) Anyway I had also spoken to my drama teacher about doing grades (Yes, I'm that sad that I love doing exams) and exams, we also spoke about irritating people and how to get more people to join the group. Holy shit, I just realised. I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW! NOOOOOO! *looks for gun* NOOOOOOOOO!

I honestly, didn't care about anything else in the world but me ~ at this point. No homework to do, no screaming kids (or parents for the record) just me and my laptop. Fuck my school friends, and fuck everybody who pissed me off that week. I didn't really do much today, but sit around play on my game and...play on my game.

At some parts in the day, I felt organised and prepared for anything and at others I felt like the room was slanting from side to side, unstable and unprepared. I got a mixture, and getting the unstable feeling happened in PE, my head was all over the place, and I couldn't even walk in a straight line - Honestly, I felt like I was going to faint, to be honest I still do. And by 'organised' I meant I actually put up some posters on my door with skin & hair tips, and making my 'How much water did you drink today?' chart. As aparently, water helps grow hair (I had a very upsetting apointment with the hairdresses' that I will tell you all about later) and keeps your skin hydrated which means that it is really healthy and clean therefore preventing pimples, spots and all that jazz also getting rid of them. It all starts on Monday, and I'm taking Pictures to see the progress. I will put how much water I drink, and maybe put a picture up of the chart. And I wil...

I don't know why I fell so depressed nothing bad has happened today. PE is getting better (I have it tomorrow) and I got away with my sneaky English Assessment. Oh wait, Luke moved seats in French. Still. It wasn't because of me he moved, but because of this stupid girl. They were fighting, not really fight fighting but like having a banter anyway he just gets annoyed with people that annoy him, so he moved. Literally, he just asked and he got moved. I hope he doesn't stay there the forever  I hope I get to sit next to him, at least once this year. Anyway I have to get to sleep. Good Night <3

I just smuggled my English book home, when we weren't supposed to. Now let me explain, I had written loads and loads of words on this Gothic Chapter since we were going to do a Gothic Chapter for assessment for our end-of-term examination thingy. But instead it was called a CONTROLLED assessment, meaning she had to be there to time us, watch us, and help us. And we have 3 lessons to do this assessment, so I just wrote a load of random rubish. And I smuggled my book into my bag at the end of the lesson, and literally I've spent my whole day copying all that I wrote into my book. It's taking ages, I want to do something fun! Anyway, once it's nearly done (It's never gonna be properly finished) I will post it. It's about this girl (designed based on me) and there is this guy (obviously, he's designed like Luke) anway they get pretty romantic, I didn't put too much in case I had to read it out and my class supected something, and plus then it gets a bit clic...

Time after time, I forget about all that I've been through and it was a hell of a lot worse than this. I shouldn't be brought down by a couple of shit-stirring dramatic bitches. Same goes for Luke. I will have a lot of different experiences in my Life, and these were only a few of them. So I don't get my Teenage Dream - who fucking cares. As long as I've got me, I don't mind. Well maybe I do mind a bit, but hopefully I will balance it out by having a fantastic adulthood and then well die ~ peacefully. Anyway I was slightly annoyed that Luke didn't answer my text message from the real ME, but the bbm message from the catfishing ME. He doesn't like to text much does he... Oh shit, I just remembered something. People who own a blackberry have bbm as there texts and not as an app, so will I turn up as the catfishing me when I said I was the real ME. (Sorry very confusing.) No it's not possible or else he would've said something. Luke fucking pees me of...

Okay, we made up about it. Even though I'm still furiously angry with her. Anyway so since I stopped being friends with my best friend. (Including Facebook, Twitter etc.) Aparently, she hasn't been friends with the blonde slut-faced slag. Anyway this is what my other best friend said. 'Ocean'. She showed me the messages her and my best friend had been sharing, they said it all. I just realised that my best friend isn't really a best friend but rather a toy, you use it and then you toss it back into that old box that you will never open again. She shouldn't be taken seriously, that means that I can't tell her any secrets too,

I'm nervous about going to school today since I know I'm going to get all kinds of crap coming from 3 people I despise. And 1 more who I could care less about. In English I sit next to my EX best friend and next to this fat ugly bitch who hates me. I might move next to Luke and one of my other friends but then someone in front I don't like. And if Luke moves that will be embarrassing plus it will only cause more attention for me and Luke might think I'm being clingy. Urgh. This sucks, I don't want to know what happens next - I really don't.