My Life

My school day was shit I was alone at dinner time because my best friend didn't show yet again at school. I got slapped around the back of my head three times. And my hard-earned attempt to get out of PE was useless. After school, drama was pretty epic - as always. I felt a bit more at home this time and like I got on with nearly everyone. Our performance was awful but I'm going to change EVERYTHING on the night,  and make it worth living for...

I honestly don't remember a single thing from today apart from my new iPhone case and that is really wanted to dye the ends of my hair blue add more colour to me. The teacher mistook me for someone else today and it reminded me was there something really unique about me ? Yes. But looking at me, not really. I need to stand out as ME! Something that makes me stand out. A persona about me. Some kind of aura. That really made me think, think that I could be anyone.

I told one of my friends the BIGGEST secrets of my life. And it just felt like I was breathing for the first time, I had held a big secret in for so long and to be able to talk to someone about it other than my self was fantastic. I'm also planning on dying the ends of my hair blue, but that'll be for easter holidays so I won't get in trouble for it and I'll have it on a lot of pictures. What Happened at School? Well I was suprisingly enjoying my new seat for Maths, I was next to this CRAZY girl who was so much fun and she shared information on how to get out of lesson. Me and my school friends had made up again finaly and everything was back to normal only it felt more secure this time. It just felt right, everything finaly felt right. And I thought now it was time for the confessions, I would confess everything to Luke the next time we spoke even if he had a girlfriend even if I would get name called everyday of my horrible life, I couldn't leave - not witho...

My grandma actually chose a pretty fine restraunt it's ashamed it was filled with a load of middle-aged pricks, it would've been a nice place. I didn't even have chance to go to the toilet and purchase a condom since we were sat in some lame booth which I was feeling really claustrophobic in. As expected my family continuously argued over what everyone was 'having' from the menu providing it was within our vouchers range. That food looked magniffy, it tasted like magniffy but it felt like crap inside I think I'm suffering from food poisoning. Urgh.

Tomorow we was eating with my grandma at some cheap food place like broosters mainly because my gran spent so much money on the other grand kids that she honestly couldn't afford much else. She use to be able to take us out to a nice place until my aunt started having so many kids when she knew damn well she couldn't look after all of them, so here we are my grandma is her bitch and my grandma now has to look after her children 73% of there lives. Anyway tomorow was going to be a case of my grandma constantly talking about the other kids and then arguments about some random nonsense like pick a meal on the offer. Either way something had was going to happen, and I didn't want to stick around and watch it so I'd turn to the toilet solution and leave the table as the argument uproars. I also wanted to get a condom from one of the machines not because I was going o us it but just becaus of the fun of it. Or maybe if Luke creapt into my bed at night and give me a midnight f...

Okay so today, I did a handful of things you could say, mostly involving the internet but it was something. I went to my 'other' drama lesson and I swear to god that room is so hot, it was okay we didn't really do much acting but that was alright. I kept working on my Beyond Two Souls game, I even played Beyond yesterday and I looked at a couple of gameplay footage of Assassin's Creed Liberation, I was really interested in that game mainly since you get to play as this awesome female protagonist but the time setting really got to me. And it inspired me to make my own fanfiction of what Assassin's Creed V will be like. Urgh. My paint is being weird so it hasn't saved. I'll post a picture when I get the issue sorted. I'm so bummed out over coming back to school again, after all Courtney won't be there so I will have to deal with all the other school friends who aren't as fantastic. Anyway my brother won't let me type any more, so I'll have ...

Urgh. I had done with my friend messaging me, she got annoyed at me because I didn't reply hell she should see my conversations with Luke. She deleted me out of her name just because I didn't reply for a few hours. She has more contacts then me I'm sure she could find someone else, now if it was some loner it would be a different case. I'm blogging on my mobile so my words might be a bit funny with the auto correct system or they might be better since my spelling will be right. My right thumb is actually getting use to this, my left thumb is a lazy arse so it just holds the bottom of my iPhone. I honestly don't know how I'm meant to hold a phone, lately I'm just holding it as though I'm Spock trying to kill someone with his special technique. Anyway my hand is aching so I might have to stop. Monday tomorow, urgh... I HATE MONDAYS. Don't we all, it's because we have that back to school feeling and it is actually really depressing but I just deal w...

My previous post stating that nothing happened was wrong. Well maybe it was right as nothing happened before the post. Anyway, so literally my friend (best school friend) had some crazy injury with her neck, three days later and I still don't know what it is. So she is in hospital and she will be staying overnight she might even have an operation also she won't be coming to school on Monday - oh shit. I hated being by myself for school, or being with people I hated more. I had other friends beside her but she was the only friend I really cared about, in school, and losing her was not really going to help my aura that I was trying to give of to Luke. Playing hard-to-get was actually pretty hard to get, if that makes any sense at all, you had to balance it in a way that didn't make you seem clingy or that made you seem distant. I really need to buy that stupid game he wants me to get, I don't really want it to be honest but I guess I have to get it. I guess I'll just ...

Nothing was really going on with my life - Actually hold that though. Yep, nothing. Well at least I had an excuse to put make up on, I played the role as the mother in the pantomime. Which doesn't really suit me because I'm slim but I'm pretty happy to be the mother, anway I wanted some tarty make up since my Drama Teacher said that I was a one-trick pony or whatever they call it. Now, I'm just going to play some Beyond Two Souls, I've completed it all I just love playing it. Oh, that reminds me heres the link to my game: http://www.roblox.com/Beyond-Two-Souls-place?id=142702923 It is unfinished please give me some ideas on what the game can actually be. Oh yeah I really need some scripting help, I'll put the help I need below. (Roblox) Scripting Help: How to create a chapter select screen at the start? How to add music to your game? How to make a player comepletely invisible (including name tag) and without a torso either?

Roblox Studio was having some serious issues so I got a little angry because I really knew I was creating a shit game but I wanted it to be fantastic. And my brother was next to me and I was vunerable and angry so I may have shouted at him because he was laughing at the way my game had broken. Urgh. Sometimes I get really uncontrolabbly angry. Anyway besides Roblox I do have other stuff to talk about, Luke was constantly messaging me back I guess the hard-to-get was working ~ pretty well. I also need to spend some more time talking about me too. I looked in the mirror this morning and I smiled because I liked what I saw. And plus - my Bags were gone! (under my eyes) Maybe its because I had a lie in as its the weekend and I pretty much stayed up till 11 or 12 on school days but still. I was happy. The weather was not happy though it just rained and rained and rained and rained. The trees were practicaly naked because of this weather. I really miss the sun and I'm so happy that I...

Okay, so I had a pretty good Drama lesson tonight and I wanted it to stay that way so I kept my mouth shut. I had a lovely chat with my drama teacher after the lesson. Then when I got into my car my mum imediantly started complaining about how late I was, then she started the car went down the hill a bit and... Nothing, it just turned off. My mother then tried resuming and again, but the sound just went on then went off. So we waited in there for 20 minutes I tried several times to suggest something but she always sighed. Then we finally came to the conclusion that writing a note and getting a taxi would be best. (we were parked on double yellow) But the only problem was no pen, no paper - no note. So I suggested the Idea of asking my Drama teacher for a pen and paper to write a note and My Mom agreed strangely. I gave her my drink since I was holding all my scripts in my hand and then pegged it to the building. As I entered my drama teacher was doing something and I just blurted eve...

Okay, I'm not going to lie. Today was not as bad as I thought it would be. Partially because I was being praised by my strict but sexy PE teacher so that just made my PE lesson a whole lot better. Especially when we were doing warm ups, when we had to stretch our legs as high up as we could, he said 'Well Done' and also said that I have great 'flexibility'. I wouldn't mind spending a lunch time or two with him! Jack was being a pain in the arse to Callum. Callum would say Hi and Jack would literally say Fuck You. Callum tried shaking hands at the end of the lesson but Jack refused and slapped his hand! Sheesh! Whats the deal? I mean its not nice to bully people. And Callum has not done ANYTHING to Jack, so Jack, you 300 kilos of good-for-nothing shit FUCK OFF! Anyway, Courtney was totally acting different then usual. She wasn't smiling or laughing or burping or farting or breathing or any other kind of crap. She was just silent, like yesterday but a little b...

Last night, playing on Roblox with my one and only crush actually went pretty well until he left without giving a single 'bye'. But I guess he might have problems at home. He really wants me to buy this game called 'Rust'. To be honest, I don't know why the hell I would buy the game. The last game I bought because of Luke was a bit over-priced. And the reviews aren't to excellent about this game. Anyway I'll post a couple of pictures if I have any: Urgh! Need to get ready for school, so I'll blog later about how the school day went. I have PE today, and I won't see Luke a lot. (I marked every lesson I was in with him xD) Anyway, wish me Luck! - I'll need it. Sheesh! I'm always in a rush these days.

Luke had realised that my several messages were turning into fewer and fewer. Sometimes, you just have had enough. My day was slowly getting more and more boring. Luke had now messaged me back 'I'm back you want me to come on?' after my several pings on BBM. So I just simply said 'Ye'. To make it awkward but cleary he doesn't understand so 5 minutes later I had no reply so I messaged 'Please' and now he has just messaged me back 'Right'. What does that even mean? Right? No apology from his 30 minute late messages? Seriously. Guess What? He hasn't even come online. So I'm trying to be polite and I've messaged him 'U on?' trying to make it almost as short as possible so it seems like i'm not interested when I clearly am. Finally he has come on. I'll talk about how it went later.

It was hard, hard to move on after all I loved Luke. I was obssessed with him but now there is just a piece of me that tells me to move on. I think I got it pretty loud and clear - he doesn't like me. Love is so stupid, I wish it never existed. I wish we were with who we want to be with. Its hard to move on, don't people get that. We've already had 2 fights, most involved ignorance from Luke. School was pretty shit today to, I had to read out in Class a stupid book called 'Darkside'. My voice is awful, I hate talking let alone reading a whole page of information. And I know it is just going to get worse, PE tommorow. My heart aches, constantly looking at your phone just to see if hes messaged you back. And I was tired of it, can he not just be a little considerate. I know we are not or ever going to be together (he made it clear in our last fight) but I just want my friend back, even if he was my crush. Well now that I think about it i'm always chasing him, well...