My Life

I'm upset, sad, hurt and on my own again. Me and my brother fell out but it wasn't mutual he was delibretly trying to annoy me and get an argument out of it. He made a snidey insult about self harming and I just was sick of it. He's constantly made offensive insults about self harming and I was just sick of it. So I poured his drink on his food. He screamed insults at me and threw his can at my face and poured my drink on my food. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. The can has swelled up my eye so it feels like there's something on my eyelid that I can't take off. I just want to know something, if my life is going to carry on like this, I want to know...when does it stop? My mother was recently interested in getting me into some physical activities and now I can't think of anything better. I'm always that helpless soul who can't hurt a fly, I'm tired of being that person. I can't think of which feeling was worse, the hatred I felt towards my...

I know I've already explained how my Dad is away but I just can't cope without him. Actually I can't cope with seeing them all the time, and by them I mean my mother and my brother. They always gang up on me, My mother seems to always have a go at me, or a nag at me, or just complain and it gets really annoying. She does this whole thing like she's looking after us and doing all the work. Well she isn't. Nobody has to 'look after' me, in fact nobody does. You just have to feed me. I do the rest by myself. You don't take any of my stress on, I don't think you even listen to anything I say because you always come out with some random other thing or say Yeah Yeah. So whenever my mother has a go at me, my brother does. And it gets so annoying, I get that I'm a little different and I may look like I'm sad all the time but that's because of people like you causing it everyday. Why the fuck do you think I'm depressed? BECAUSE OF YOU! I can...

Okay, reading the title you may think that I'm getting married. Sadly, No. A) I'm Underaged. B) My cellphone isn't full of numbers. C) I'm not ready to commit. Anyway so you may be wondering why I made this post is because something happened tonight. This evening, my mother was invited to attend my father's friend's wedding but my Dad is on a cruise ship working, I told you that didn't I? If I didn't well now you know. Literally, my Dad is away for a month, and I have to show 'independance', which means picking up my Cat's shit, getting blamed for my Cat's troubles (I got blamed before, just to mention), doing my brother's jobs and getting no credit (His job was the bins, so he had to clean out the bins/take out the trash, which I have done many times. It's so easy, I wish I had his job.) and just enjoy getting told off for not doing it. Now 'indepedance' would be to me something like I can go out when I want to as lo...

So I haven't really been posting much, but I don't really have much time to be posting pages and pages. But I've decided that I'm going to try and post daily - however - they will be short posts And will be written before I go to bed and maybe throughout my day. So I haven't really explained what happened with all the counselling and school telling my parents. Well literally, I told my counsellor about it, she then told the bitch in school that I hate and then my counsellor came back and said that everything was okay, and that they're not going to tell my parents under the 'circumstances. Then about 2 weeks later I got a message from reception to go to her. They'd called my parents and they decided to end my counselling. Yep! I've had no counselling throughout this whole thing! I didn't cancel it school cancelled it! And they told my parents that I should never be left alone by myself or go out without them. Well that was fucking great under the ...